Do your kids start begging you to buy them "things" the moment you pull the car into the shopping center? Especially at this time of year, kids can be overstimulated by all the frenzied buying, marketing targeted at specifically to them and the general consumerism they see. But you don't have to argue about it. When your "No" is refuted with cries of protest, please remember that your child is having an emotional reaction to his experience. Don't feed the flames with more emotional reactivity, but guide his expression with your compassion and calm reflection. Validating your child's experience does not mean that you give in or change your limits. But, it is really hard to argue with someone who is validating our experience. Eventually we feel "HEARD" and we can move to acceptance. It is in the rush to "stop behavior" or "control of the situation" that we lose control. Be OK with your decisions and then be OK that your child needs some time to come around and manage his strong reactions. THAT takes time and practice - and nonjudgmental role models. Can you be okay with your child persisting and not feel threatened by his behavior so you can actually have a shot at changing it? Can you shift from seeing disobedience to seeing someone who is afraid (or deeply passionate) about what he feels and wants - and then HONOR that? The minute you start defending your position or asking your child to meet your needs, is the minute you set yourself up for frustration and exhaustion. Of course, it happens - so if and when you find yourself in the face of a public meltdown