7 Habits of Highly Effective Moms! by Ruhaifa Samir Habit # 1: Get enough sleep A well-rested mom is a good mom, believe me! If you’re tired, you’ll be cranky, moody, tired, and eventually the frustrations will come out on the children, the servants or the poor husband who won’t know what hit him! Now for some of us, this requires creativity especially if we have little children who wake us up during the night or husbands who come home late and then want us to stay up with them. For me, it was both. So I made it a point to put the kids to bed at 7.30 and sleep with them till 10 when my husband would come home. I would then be refreshed to give him time, take care of the wake-up session of the kids at 12 and then get into bed for another 5 hours. Cool, eh? Habit # 2: Take time out for yourself Yes, it’s been said before but rarely done..! So I’ll say it again: don’t forget yourself. Take 2 hours out for yourself every 3 days. Go for a facial, a massage,shopping or just read a book! (NO errands allowed).You deserve it! Make it a point to have a set bedtime for the kids, so that you have a few hours at night to yourself as well. Habit # 3: Plan the day Take 10 minutes out of your morning to plan the day. Sit down and plan what needs to get done that day so you’re mentally armed to deal with your schedule. However, don’t forget to leave yourself some wiggle room incase something out-of-the-ordinary comes up (which usually does with children). Habit # 4 Admit when you’re stressed and ask for help You will not be a bad mom if you ask for help when things are getting out of hand. You will not be a lesser woman if you need someone to help you out when you just cant manage it anymore. Be vocal about your problems with your spouse. Maybe there could be an arrangement for extra hired help (if there is financial flexibility) or sometimes, even the catharsis that comes with admitting stress lessens the burden. Habit # 5 Savour the moment Don’t make life a never-ending chore! Sometimes, just let your hair down and enjoy the moment. Yes, all of us moms want to do everything for our kids and family, but it’s not always possible. So make a list of your priorities and leave the rest! Remember, your top priority are the kids. If that means missing out a party you have been invited to, then so be it! Much better than going crazy to manage it into your schedule and then actually ending up shouting at the kids for not getting ready and making you late! I had this phobia of a messy house. I was always cleaning up, putting the toys in place, and the house in order, until one day my daughter commented in passing “Mummy is always cleaning, she never plays with us”. And I realized how true that was. And I realized that a house with small children was meant to be messy. When the kids will grow up and go away, I will have all the time in the world for a perfect house (and I bet I will miss the messy house!) So stop being a robot and learn to savour the moment. The kids will grow up real fast and you’ll miss all this. Why not appreciate it now? Take a moment out of the harried day and just sit and cuddle with your kids and ask them questions. Ask about their day and what they think you should do together! And then do it! It’ll just be half an hour at the most, but you’ll be a happier more satisfied person! Habit # 6 Reconnect with your spouse Allah says: “And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them , and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.” (Ar-Rum 30:21) Usually, after having children, everything revolves around them and the couple hardly gets time together. Make time for your husband and yourself. Make special efforts to get dressed up for him. If not more often, then atleast once a month, go out for dinner. Arrange for the grandparents to baby sit the kids for the evening or send them over for a night-spend and enjoy each others company without interruption. If you like, meet with other couples without the kids tagging along. Have a life with your husband beyond the kids as well. Habit # 7 Reconnect with your Rabb Last but not least, reconnect with Allah. With all that is going on, sometimes its hard enough to say the prayers on time. But make time! Holding on to the rope of Allah is the only way to hold on to your sanity. And it makes you realize that your family is not the end but a means to the end – Jannah! Allah says in the Quran: : “And know that your possessions and your children are but a trial and that surely with Allah is a mighty reward.” (Al-Anfal:28) This world is just a test and our husbands and our children should be means of getting to Jannah inshAllah. Staying connected to Allah will give you a peace of mind that will carry through the day. “Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the joy and the comfort of our eyes, and guide us to be models of righteousness.” (Al-Furqan: 74)